Month: January 2014

Every Time

Every time I have a freak out – and trust me I have A LOT. i am not writing this fishing for compliments I am writing out the truth. Person to person. Kay? This isn’t a pity me post, it isn’t a feel sympathy post. This is me expressing something that I really need to get out there. 

I freak out every time i really thinking about releasing Damaged. That isn’t to say that I don’t love my book, I do. That isn’t egoistical, a) that would be ridiculous b) i have every right to be damn proud of something i poured my heart and soul into.  

BUT. (there is always a but – well i should certainly hope there would be 😉 ) anyways…. BUT. I freak out. I freak out because I have had workshop classes in college, I have taken creative writing classes. I have HAD people read my unpublished work and criticize me. It’s terrifying. It can be devastating. It can be so much more. I freak out because i am a pessimistic at heart, and in reality i am a realist. Not everyone is going to love Damaged – OH GASP! – I know this. Still doesn’t make things easier. I freak out because all I can think in my awesome pessimistic, poofy haired head is: no one is going to like it. (please don’t comment saying of course people are going to like it – i realize people will its just how my mind works). I freak out because I didn’t PAY for an editor this time around. I didn’t have the means to. Things surely would have been missed. Shit happens, people make mistakes. I freak out because in the end, the person who gives my book it’s first one star rating, for them it will be a lost of a couple hours, and a few cents. For me? It will be a heartbreak that will probably last me the rest of my life. (and please don’t say you need to let this things just roll off your shoulders) I KNOW this, trust me I do. I also know how much it hurts, and how much the bad stuff sticks verses the good stuff even though we try to ignore it.

So every night getting closer and closer to my first ever release date, and I am threatening tears – yeah fucking tears, I don’t cry easily. (well that is a lie I get super emotional when I am sick, a lady, or when I watch Fox and the Hound because I mean if you don’t cry in that movie i might think you are a robot) And I think to myself, why the hell am I doing this?

I look to my left. Above my TV (no, sorry to say its not Friends on Nick at Nite that gets me through it) It’s the poster that I received from an author friend of mine. A friend who passed at the beginning of the year. I look at it, and I am reminded that life isn’t predictable, and if I don’t do this, IF i don’t take this leap I will forever regret it. 

So for once i am going to say FUCK IT. I am going to do exactly what I want. And I am not doing this for you, sorry whoever you are. But i am not. I am not doing for my friend who passed. I am not doing for the other author’s posters that are on my walls. I am not doing it for them I am doing it for me. For once in my life I am putting myself completely and utterly first. 

This is MY dream. I thought it was a fairy tale if I am going to be perfectly honest. I thought it was a damn fairy tale, not something I would never really be able to do. Now I can. And as scary as it maybe, and even I have to deal with people not loving it, not accepting it. Well at least I can say I published a book. 

So every.single.time. I think about how this is the scariest, stupidest, shittest idea I could have ever done because I know bad things can happen. I know people can, and might actually might try to ruin me at every step of the way. At least I did it. At least I followed through on my dreams. 

So win or lose. I did it. Every time I win. 


And thank you for listening to me rant, and be a bit of a bitch 😉 catch ya on the flip side yo 

Release Date – yeah you read that right

So FINALLY after on my I don’t know changing tentative dates on you all for two months now? I think I finally FINALLY, FINALLY HAVE ONE!

Yup, yup, yup!

I have to seriously thank so many people a 100 times over for

A) being there for me

b) listening to me complain and complain and complain and be the biggest baby in the world

c) For helping me through the process

d) Sticking with me for this long

So why did it take me THIS LONG to give you a final, for realz, in cement date?

Welll I had a couple different people looking at Damaged, I had betas who went through it – and they were wonderful and I adore them for everything they did for me. I really think they helped shape this bad boy up. I have to thank my friend Jaime so sososo much because she (after i pleaded and begged) her to do a final run through of edits for me, she did. You know just making sure there were no repeat paragraphs (there were), making sure that I didn’t forget words (i did) and so much more. So after that was done.

I had to decide, go with someone else formatting this? Or should I try to do it myself? Yeah no I went with someone. And I HAVE TO THANK HER A MILLION times over ❤ So that is all said and done, publishing is shit ton more work then i thought it would be

Seriously no, call me stupid, call me naive i don’t care. This is what I thought when I started: I will have a couple people read through it, make sure everything is in the right place. Get a cover. Hit DA BUTTON. HA! what a joke. It was literally to the point i wanted to rip out my own goddamn hair (sorry I swear, I like swear words i think they are fun) anyways. So after what August is when i finished writing Damaged, so September, October, November, December, and most of January was me trying to figure this all out – and while somethings I had personal problems with everything worked out. I learned so much. And you know what, I think this might be the most rewarding this I have ever done. Crazy as it sounds, and I know I sound like a damned loon right now but bear with me.

I have a twin. O.O (GASP!) I have a twin she looks nothing like me, and no i am not going to post a picture of her either. Anyways. The point is I have always had someone, always, always, always. We did the same sports, we had a lot of the same classes, we both did marching/concert band, and then even when we got older and went to different colleges. I had my best friends, two of my best friends were going to the same college as me. There has been a lot of times in my life, I have always been part of a group, always doing something with someone i REALLY knew, someone I could totally and utterly rely on. And THIS, this was just me – granted I had two friends helping with the beginning part of this (friends from home). But I was finally doing something without my twin, or my friends from home there. I had my online friends who quickly became my family helping me and encouraging me but this felt different for me. Finally I was stepping up and doing something.

And you know what? I have already won. I have already “made it” out of my beta readers none of them – and i wasn’t suspecting any of them to tell me it was shit but i was expecting them to honest with me, they loved it. And that is what I wanted. I want people to get what I get from reading when reading Damaged… does that make sense? Hhahaha okay. So I want to be able to help readers to escape for awhile, to read something that isn’t going to change history or stop wars anything like that. I just wanted to write something that is going to help Ashley (i pick that name only because i knew at LEAST 10 Ashleys in my graduating class) disappear for a couple hours a day – or however longs to take to read Damaged. So yeah I won. But I just wanted it to be available to the general public and i know not everyone is going to love it, but that is okay. It will be okay. So you want that release date now?


January 31st. Whoooo i got a little thrilly chilly shiver going up my spine.

Can I say it again? I am going to, you can’t stop me. January 31st.

JANUARY 31ST!!!!!! So if you will, if you are almost as excited as I am right now share this date?

Make sure the word gets out. ❤

And thank you.

A special bit

So while Damaged is going through it’s very, i mean this really I do, VERY last edits. I am going to send out the ARCs and about a week later – I am hoping, I will hit that publish button. Now I know I KNOW i have been horrible first it was December, then early January, now its going to be later-ish January, funny how time flies….and gets away from you. But I promise, if it means I have to publish this bad boy half way through its last edits – which is just making sure those pesky little commas are in the right place for um…new scenes that arose out of beta reads, then that is what i will do. I am as eager as you!

So, sosososososo what’s this little post about?

Well since I feel like such an ass for doing the oh i promise it will be out now, then it gets pushed back again are you interested in learning about where i am going with this series?

So. As of right now I have 5 full-length novels (including Damaged) planned out, and one Novella.

So there is Damaged: Audrey and Stone’s story.

Healed: Book Two Elijah and Valentine’s Story

Broken: Book Three Nixie and Dallas’ story

Untitled: Book Four Ami and undecided name story hehe

Burned: Book Five Marcus and undecided name2 story

So yes this is going to be a series that uses different characters for each book, but the running plot problem is is there. I am not sure things may change with how many books I decide to have, but as of right now that is how it is looking. I have each one having a summary plot in my head, some are more complex than others, but for right now that is what I am going for. So I know these are names you don’t know at all but Valentine, Ami and the two undecided names are NOT in Damaged. They appear later in the series – you meet both Valentine and Ami in book two which i am currently working my little fingers to the bones on. I am plot wise about 1/4 ish done. Hahaha but don’t let that freak you out, I know where i am going with it, and how i want things to go its just the matter of getting it down XD.

So there will be one Novella that I am actually working on right now as well. This how long its going to be I really have no idea. This isn’t really part of the running plot of the five books though this is a sort of prequel that goes into the first part of Damaged. I will tell you the name but I cannot tell you the characters, spoilers and all that. 😀

A Rebirth Novella: Stolen

So what does Rebirth stand for? What does this mean?

The world I created is on Earth – don’t worry 😉 its not a high fantasy. This mostly only deals with the paranormal side of the world though. Over a century ago elder races who were mixture of different elemental Gods or even a pure race from one God ruled the paranormal world, they kept peace, and as a reward and hmm how do I put this (sorry i am very candid sometimes) it was a way to keep peace between different types of paranormals and families.

True mates doesn’t necessarily mean insta-love it just means the person that they are destined to be with, they don’t have to like each other very much at first, and it doesn’t mean they have to accept other but it was the Gods way of thanking their loyal paranormals.

Conflict started to arise though, the elder races began to speak up about humans knowing their secrets. It wasn’t unheard of for a paranormal to have a human mate, but the world did not know and the paranormal’s felt suppressed. Many paranormals didn’t agree, in fact they were down right pissed. They gathered together and started an uprising. Unknown to humans a war raged on, Elder Races were thought to be killed and extinct. This caused the Gods to turn their back on their creations and the true mates started to disappear.

The paranormal world broke apart into different Clans ruled by families. The thought to be extinct creatures are reemerging.

And tada! So know you are a little more informed about the Rebirth Series. I hope you enjoyed that. sorry this is very unedited, and I am lazy enough to admit I am not going through it XD i am better with my books i swear I just want to get back at writing hahaha ENJOY!